Being yourself is good advice, unless, as you say, it becomes a schtick. But the road to being always (or usually) runs through becoming. And one of the ways you become is by trying out various selves, trying them on, seeing what combination of attributes resonates with your authentic self - that Self within the self that already knows who you are.

So, as long as mimicry and imitation is done consciously and as an experiment in becoming - in discovering/creating who you most want to be - it's a great technique.

In writing classes, I've been told to practice imitating others. I once wrote out a whole chapter of Pam Houston's Cowboys Are My Weakness (great book of short stories!) to get a sense of how she phrased complicated thoughts in simple ways.

I did this with other writers too. Just practicing, seeing what works for me, and how to make it so.

When I started writing blogs and newsletters and sales copy, it was natural that I would transfer what I learned from writing class to my marketing approach. Like you, I'm a natural mimic, so it came easy. And, now, through many years of practicing, trying out different styles, I think I'm getting close to "being myself" when I write.

So, I recommend that you imitate and mimic, but do so consciously. Then you can see if what you're writing/saying resonates with that all-knowing authentic Self.

Cheers!
B.

What is the nature of this "self"? And how can discovering it make me more money? Was Nietzche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra the original book on personal branding with authentic style? Or was it the Dhammapada? So many questions....

Oh my goodness, you are awesome. I especially appreciate the mult-factedness of self that you bring up. Without this multi-faceted nature, you're bringing a card-board cut-out. But if you bring every facet, then suddenly your loki might come out of the box in an unfortunate way!

Here here on the mimicking thing...

In college I read Catcher In The Rye and immediately set out to write my own short story - in his voice because I thought it was so cool.

It was totally fun - and totally didn't sound like me. It sounded like him.

I've done it with different marketers and bloggers too for sure. Sometimes it's part of how I find my own style, but sometimes it's hard to distinguish.

I really liked what you were saying about the self that holds a new baby or the self that goes on date night.

There are so many ways that I show up...so it's not like one of them is THE one. Getting stuck into thinking only one of them were right would be where it turns into a schtick for me.

Molly, you've hit the nail on the head yet again. It's become the vogue right now to sing "I gotta be me" and speak of genuineness and authenticity, living one's truth and taking chances and feeling unsure but doing it anyway and oo, it's all so scary! Etc.

But in the aftermath of everyone and their aunt doing so...it doesn't quite strike the same chord as it once did.

This kind of marketing (is it marketing?) platform has become formulaic and downright repetitive, especially in the area of finance. The people you speak of are usually "doing the authenticity thing" as a plea for attention or because someone else did it and it got them onto Oprah, etc, so they think they must do the same.

A copy, even a faithful replica, isn't genuine, as you point out. Just like riding a bike, it's when the training wheels come off and no one's looking that the real strides are made. It becomes not so much about having your brand be "I live authentically & I speak my truth - see me!" than that being a natural byproduct of the help and service you give to others.

IMO, that's really what it's all about, digging down deep to the gold and sharing it freely and with joy. When you do that, your ideal clients stream in the doors and you don't have to fake living someone else's life / marketing / adventure.

Our own adventure is so much more interesting and unique...

When people have the position that the universe is uniquely supportive, wealth is limitless and they won't miss out because nothing that is truly meant for us can be lost, it frees the person to live with so much more real "authenticity". And if you are genuine/authentic/living-your-truth, it'll shine out without the need to make it your marketing platform.

That's the kind of businessperson I am attracted to, that most people are attracted to I think. Do your own thing, follow your bliss and your authenticity will show without the need to point it out. That's also a much classier position to take too.

Thanks once again Molly, for a content-juicy thought-provoking post!

What is real? What is genuine? How will I know it when it comes along? In my experience, listening to the heart never leads us wrong. It's a good place to start. No schtick about it. ;-)

Thanks Molly - this is wonderfully insightful and so bravely honest.

Lots of good advice! On Jennifer Louden's Comfort Cafe, I chose the phrase 'Being Complete' for this year. Your post of being oneself is so part of what I'm trying to be about.

I fall prey to thinking the ideal for me is to be like those coaches who are funny and great cheerleaders, and can feel like I"m missing something vital to being a good coach.

When I remind myself that I have and am all that I need to be (I'm complete), then I'm able to value my own gifts of depth and spirituality. These don't lend themselves to wildly cheering others on, but they do help a group of people discover their inner longings, and that's what I'm about.

It's both what I celebrate being about, and sometimes, what I have to settle for being about.

Molly, I always appreciate the way you bring the reality of our humanity to your writing. It lets me be who I am at both my best and my worst, and feel that it's all just there. Thanks!

Bruce (@BelkinB on Twitter): Thank you for this important perspective. Conscious imitation is an important way to practice creating.

Duff: :-)

Bridget: Yup. Deciding which facets to bring out can be dicey. And there is a difference between what we choose to reveal in public and in private, in business and in personal life.

Mona: Good to see you here. I agree, getting stuck in one self or persona is where it turns into a schtick. So long as we have a playful or light relationship to the self we are putting out there, we can remain flexible and aware.

Maryam: "Our own adventure is so much more interesting and unique..." Hear, hear!

Susan: I am grateful for your support.

Vicki: Yes. And sometimes we may be surprised to find that what we consider our worst is someone else's best. Go figure!

Hi Molly,

As others have said, I think you did a great job teasing apart this issue.

I, too, get wrapped around my axle by trying to be authentic, be myself, and be that energetic, sympathetic, smart, successful, clever, kind, universally wise, and otherwise handsome guy that I think I need to be so that clients like and buy from me and other experts respect me.

Woof! When I can, I catch myself and use this little trick to release the bind.

I ask myself, "When I'm feeling like this, who am I focused on? Who's needs am I addressing?"

To which I reply, "Me and mine, of course."

Then I gently remind myself to shift my focus to the needs of my clients, readers, et al. I find that I can't be inauthentic when I make this shift.

Sometimes it takes just a moment to make this shift, sometimes it takes a whole day. The key for me, though, is to remember to do it when I'm feeling less than or otherwise wrapped around the axle.

And this gets easier to do, I think, because the those feelings are just too uncomfortable to put up with.

Yours,

Mike

Mike: Thank you for stopping by. I love your exercise for shifting from self-absorption to a client-centered way of being.

I want to yank all the internet people who say be authentic and then use every trick under the sun, especially the "Jen's on vacation and this is her assistant and shhh... she doesn't know I'm emailing you" trick BALD. Molly, as always, you wrote what I wish I could say. Whose self, exactly!

Jen (@jenlouden on Twitter, for those of you who may wish to follow her): I love you!

Hi Molly - I get your newsletter but have never commented before. I like what you say here. To me it speaks to an underlying truth: that ultimately, lots of the advice we're given is as much about the giver's agenda as ours. And I hear a lot of advice giving these days, about this topic and many others. Truly, it bores me. If I gotta be me, I think I can figure it out on my own!

Well said, Patty. And thank you for commenting. It means a lot.

Really enjoyed this post. I went through the stage of mimicry and maybe a little still today. I've felt like I've found myself in a bigger way and it feels good and relaxed and less hyped.

The other trend I see in marketing is disclosure. That we have to tell the readers or clients what's going on with us. I can do that if it's for a reason, but it can get slippery pretty fast. I had a marketing teacher of mine announcing to her database that she and her husband were going to work on getting pregnant. For me, it had nothing to do with what she was marketing and felt like a set-up for her. It was also TMI for me.

I guess there's a learning curve- even with marketers who are supposedly "raking it in".

Thanks again for a thoughtful, meaningful post.

Being yourself ends as soon as fearing the world begins. It is hard not to be intimidated by all of the external forces around. Will my business be accepted? Will I be accepted as a person? Is my image acceptable? The truth is you are the only once who can do the accepting of yourself. If you broadcast a being of comfort and self acceptance that is how others will most likely perceive you. As much as it seems like the work is always outside of us, the hardest tasks start within.

I am just starting a business and as a result of this risk/freedom I have been feeling more like myself lately than I have in years. But I'm also feeling like I need to buckle down and focus on doing all the work that is in front of me and not over-think it. TRUST myself and do the work. That is my mantra this week.

Also, it reminds me of the movie the Madness of King George and the memorable words as he recovers from his madness - "I have remembered how to seem myself."

It's nice to know that there are other mimics out there! I know that I share similar struggles as you and I always try to remind myself that those people who seem to have it together most likely have their own insecurities--we all do!

@Briana: You are so right. The hardest work always starts within. Succeeding at self-employment is an inside job. Staying on the path to success can be transformative, if we will do that inner work.

@Fleur: I love that quote! "Acting naturally" is one of the greatest challenges. And learning to focus (and what to focus on) is hugely important. It's a keystone of Profit Alchemy."

@Suzanne: Yup. As Byron Katie says, "There are no new stressful thoughts." Everyone does have their own "stuff."