The most practical thing you can do when you work for yourself is to know your soul purpose or what I call your life project. Until you know this, all talk of finding your niche or your unique offer in the marketplace is futile.

When you do know your life project, it infuses the shaping of a profitable business with meaning, which transforms otherwise daunting and tedious work into creative action.

So lets look at how to bring your life project into form in meaningful and profitable work.

The five questions
The following five questions will not only awaken you to your life project, they will distill that project into daily action. They will give you both the big picture and the granular detail you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

* Why are you here?
* What's your vision?
* What's your compelling goal?
* What will it take?
* What's one step?

Why are you here?
The challenge in asking and answering this question is to dance at the edge of great seriousness and great lightness. If you are not serious enough, you will miss the sacred essence of your life project.

If you are too serious, you'll be weighed down and unable to respond to what life asks of you.

What's your vision?
Your vision is different from your life project. It's how you see the world being blessed or enhanced or shaped as the result of living your life project.

There can be as many different visions as there are people with a given life project. One healer may envision a world free of malaria, another a world in which young girls love their bodies.

What's your compelling goal?
Your compelling goal is the pivot on which your life project turns into meaningful and profitable work.

What specifically do you intend to accomplish through your business in service of your vision?

The healer who envisions a world free of malaria might have the business goal of ending malaria deaths in Africa by 2015 (malarianomore.org).

The healer who envisions a world in which young girls love their bodies might envision a spa especially for pre-teens.

What will it take?
What has to happen for your goal to be accomplished? What projects should be undertaken?

(Yup, I said "should." Should is not necessarily the imposition of a neurotic pattern by a cranky inner critic. Sometimes you really should do something. When you've chosen a compelling goal in service of your life project, your very soul will issue a mandate about what you should and shouldn't do. Don't let pop psychology keep you from heeding that mandate.)

What's one step?
Life happens and life projects are served one action at a time.

It's easy to be dazzled and overcome by the scale and significance of your life project and vision. It's easy to be paralyzed and overwhelmed by the multitude of details involved on a daily basis.

It's in tying these together that you'll find a semblance of surefootedness. (I say a semblance, because if you're doing it right, your balance will be challenged on a regular basis.)

That's why I say your compelling goal is the pivot. When you get lost in the clouds, your goal will ground you. When you get mired in the details, it will pull you out of the muck.

The sacred and mundane work together
A life project is never finished. It is lived rather than done. Expressed rather than accomplished.

When you know that your life project is bigger than, though served by, your business and your goals, you are free to live your vision in the most practical way.

You are free to claim and express your soul work even though you can't cram it all into the confines of a business plan.

At the same time, you are free to do the creative and practical work of making a business profitable. It's okay to function well in the mundane world, because your mundane activities serve a sacred vision.
Photo by Moyan Brenn via Flickr

You get the picture.

Most of the time, I'm satisfied to let things collect in the basket. But eventually, usually when the basket is about three-quarters full, it becomes a psychic irritant. When I see it, I feel heavy. Almost guilty. Definitely out of synch with myself and my business.

Then I know it's time to deal with the basket.

Getting started is a process
I don't deal with the basket the moment it begins to weigh on me. Instead, I make plans to deal with the basket.

At first, I have intentions. After a while--sometimes a long while--the intentions become plans, and I put them on an action list. And once on that list, dealing with the basket gets moved from one date to another, until through some unseen process, the day arrives when I actually deal with the basket.

The process can take weeks or months. In my case, the process has been going on since the end of the Self Employment Telesummit in October. Today (January 20) I finally dealt with the basket.

Your mileage may vary.

Hold your plan to deal with the basket firmly, but lightly
I've found that it's best to hold plans to deal with the basket both firmly and lightly.

Firmly, so you don't consign the basket to permanent limbo. Lightly, so you don't castigate yourself for putting it off (again). Because the more you beat yourself up, the more inclined you will be to put the basket out of your mind (and quite possibly out of sight) forever.

In other words, be mindful.

The day to deal with the basket will arrive
If you hold plans for dealing with the basket both firmly and lightly, the day will come when you'll know it's time to take action.

The thing is, knowing this is a subtle thing. You need to be reasonably mindful, in touch with your senses and emotions, or you'll miss the signal altogether.

Set the conditions for receiving the signal
You're unlikely to receive the signal to deal with the basket unless two conditions are met.

* There is white space in your schedule.
* You can see the basket directly or indirectly, as through a note in your to do list.

When the signal arrives, answer the call promptly. There's no knowing when the right time will come around again.

Four rewards of dealing with the basket
In addition to the simple, but not insignificant, satisfaction of seeing an empty basket, dealing with it yields four rewards:

* Retrieval of hidden gems.
* Freedom from basket monsters.
* Freedom from unrealized possibilities.
* A rested mind.

Retrieval of hidden gems
Hidden in your basket are goodies you've been saving until you have time to do something with them. Now you get to do the things that extract value from those goodies.

* Transcribe and file valuable notes.
* Send thank you cards.
* Make the phone calls you've almost forgotten you were going to make.

Do each thing now, otherwise it ends up back in the basket, neater perhaps, but just as unfinished.

Freedom from basket monsters
When you lose sight of what's in the basket, the mind manufactures monsters. The monsters shrink when you get them out into the light of day. And they vanish when you do the thing that gets them out of the basket for good.

Disentanglement from unrealized possibilities
The basket is the repository for good ideas, brainstorms, and possibilities. So long as they remain in the basket, they remain in the realm of possibility, which is a good thing.

But it's also a bad thing. Because eventually those unrealized possibilities begin to weigh on you. They morph from what could be into what should have been.

As you clear the basket you have my permission to let go of those possibilities, no strings attached.

There are more where those came from.

A rested mind
A funny thing happens as you clear out the basket. Your mind begins to clear as well.

Simplifying, completing, and letting go free your mind. Even though dealing with the things in your basket is work, it's work that leads to completion.

And when you complete something, your brain releases a small amount of endorphins, nature's own feel-good juice.

And that's the incredible lightness of an empty basket.

Photo by Ritwik Parashar via Flickr

You send an email that you think is merely succinct, and it comes across as hurtful. (Yup. Done that, too. And notice how I couldn't resist a bit of justification.)

In a thousand ways large and small, we hurt ourselves or others in the course of work, and it feels awful. (Well, sometimes you're resilient and highly evolved, which is great. This post is about the times you aren't.)

Screw ups in work can feel especially crummy
It really sucks when you screw up in your work, whether it's the work you perform or the business part.

I think that's because work screw ups feel so public. It's not just your private identity that is dinged, its your public image.

And when you are tender about your work, when doing it right really, really matters, it's so easy to take screw ups to heart. To feel like you ARE a screw up rather than the person who made the mistake.

And then there are the potential financial consequences. What if people find out? Will they stop trusting you? Will they stop coming to you?

Will they stop paying you?

(And how can you be thinking about money? Doesn't that just prove you're a no good so-and-so?)

Enough already! Let's get to healing this mess.

Healing is not about covering up
Healing the heart ache of screwing up is not about covering up your mistakes. It's not about getting rid of the pain.

Healing is about restoring wholeness.

Wholeness within you, wholeness within your business. Wholeness for everyone affected.

So let's look at how to do that to the best of your ability.

Seven steps (and three of them are the same)
Healing the heart ache of screw ups is an iterative process. It starts with letting the hurt in, and then you do the steps as many times as necessary to get to wholeness.

Sometimes that happens quickly, sometimes not. In general, the more often your practice these steps, the more quickly you can heal the hurt and move on.

Here are the steps I use.

1. Let the hurt in.
2. Find the facts.
3. (Let the hurt in.)
4. Drop justification.
5. (Let the hurt in.)
6. Accept responsibility.
7. Forgive yourself.
8. Make amends.

Let the hurt in
The first step is to feel the heart ache. As best you can, soften your resistance to feeling lousy.

You can start by turning your attention to your body. What's going on in your jaw, neck, shoulders, or belly? Where else might you be holding tension?

As you notice the tight spots, notice also what emotions go with them. Stay as open to the sensations and feelings as you can.

Find the facts
I say "find" the facts because sometimes the simple truth of what happened is elusive. The simple facts are often complicated by judgment, opinion, fear.

So see if you can find just the bare facts of what happened. Of what you did or not not do. I find it helps to write them down in sequence. Then go back and cross out anything that is an explanation or opinion.

(Let the hurt in)
You may notice you've tensed up or started pushing away your feelings as you dig for those facts. I do.

So, as you are looking for the bare facts, keep touching in with the sensations and emotions of having screwed up. You don't need to wallow in them, but don't shut the door either.

Drop justification
As soon as I start looking for the facts, justification and defense pop up. Even when I'm not trying to weasel out of anything, my brain offers up extenuating circumstances.

See if you can drop all that. I'm not saying it's irrelevant; it's just that at this stage of the process any kind of justification tends to cloud the matter and delay healing.

(Let the hurt in)
Your mileage may vary, but I often need to soften again as I let go of my defenses. Even though by now the heart ache may have lessened, you may still reflexively push away difficult feelings.

Accept responsibility
Accepting responsibility follows on the heels of finding the facts and letting go of justification and defense.

What did you do (or not do?) What happened as a result?

Paradoxically, when you accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences, the burden of screwing up lightens.

Go figure.

Forgive yourself
(I could have inserted "Let the hurt in" again, but by now you know to do that, right?)

I put self-forgiveness ahead of making amends because that's what works for me. I need to forgive myself on some level before I have the intestinal fortitude to make amends.

That said, I usually find that I don't really feel forgiven until after I've made my amends.

It's a process.

Make amends
When you know the facts, have dropped justification, and accept responsibility, you are free to make amends.

Making amends is about making something whole again to the best of your ability. Sometimes there's very little you can do; sometimes there's a lot.

Do what you can.

A word about making this a big deal
One problem with spelling out a process like this is that it can make too big a deal out of the simple human experience of getting things wrong.

That's not my intention.

But sometimes screwing up does feel like a big deal (even when it's not). And sometimes we're not very evolved about it.

At those times, it helps to have a road map.

In case you haven't guessed, I got something wrong this week. Fortunately it's not the first time I've screwed up in my business, so I know (even when I'm afraid it's otherwise) that you can mess up and still do good work.

And still be successful.

Bottom line: I'm not perfect, and I have a very good business. And if I can do it, you can bet your life that you can do it, too.

(You'll find the earlier post here).

Several readers wrote to ask how, exactly, to get clients to tell you what they want. What do you do when you ask them, and no one responds?

Here's what I teach my students about learning what clients want. It's taken directly from the Profit Alchemy course. You can learn more about that program at the end of the article.

It begins with a conversation
The first first thing to understand about finding out what clients want is that it involves a conversation, an exchange. And the first requirement for a meaningful conversation is for you to be 100% present.

That can be a challenge when your business is at stake. Even though it is ultimately of service to your prospective clients, you may feel uncomfortable asking for information that will help you to market and sell more effectively.

So I teach my students to get into their Personal Safety Zones.

Create a zone of safety and respect
Your Personal Safety Zone is a conscious sense of personal space in which you center and ground yourself.

One way into your Personal Safety Zone is to bring your awareness into your body. Breathe into your abdomen and, when you exhale, expel as much air as you can. Repeat this for three breaths.

Surrender to gravity, allowing your weight to settle until you are aware of the soles of your feet on the ground beneath you.

Invite your body to show you how it feels to be perfectly centered, grounded, and safe. Take a few moments to feel that.

Practice getting into your Personal Safety Zone in all kinds of situations until it becomes second nature, and you can do it in a moment. Then, use it whenever you talk about your work.

When you feel safe, you put others at ease
When you feel safe, people naturally feel safe in your presence. There is room in the conversation for them to be exactly as they are.

This is especially important in conversations with clients or prospective clients. As you show up naturally and with peaceful confidence, the person you speak with feels comfortable. There is no need for either of you to contract or defend.

Have a one-on-one intentional conversation
A successful conversation about what a client wants happens intentionally and one-on-one. Schedule a specific time and place for the conversation, and be clear about the purpose.

It can be scary to ask for such a conversation! So practice your Personal Safety Zone. Throughout the process of learning what clients want, you will find that returning to your Personal Safety Zone is the key to success on many levels.

As for what to say when setting up the conversation, be simple and direct. "I'd like to understand what it's like for you to.... May I have 30 minutes of your time to talk about that?" (Fill in the blank with the problem or need the client has.)

Set a date to speak by phone, Skype, or in person. Email and surveys don't work for this kind of conversation. They aren't personal enough, and they don't allow you to get beneath the surface.

Take the time to get under the surface
Most conversations start on the surface. People naturally want to please you, and, in the beginning, they tend to say what they think you want them to say.

You can help the client move past this phase by gently redirecting the focus to their experience. Repeat that you’re truly interested in what it is like for them to have this problem, desire, or need. Ask them questions that take them deeper.

As you continue to ask respectful, probing questions that shift the focus to what the client experiences from inside their problem, the client's answers will become more spontaneous. Your client will express more emotion and will tend to use less formal language.

This is exactly what you are looking for. Not a neat and clean global description of a problem, but an in-the-trenches report of what it is like for your client to have a pressing challenge or urgent desire.

Listen literally
At this point, your client (or prospective client) is telling you exactly what you need to know. To make sure you get it, listen literally. That means listening to the precise words and phrases (and intonations) that your just-right clients use to talk about the world from their perspective.

That sounds simple, and it is, in principle. But when you are deeply immersed in your work and listening to a client who is talking about the things your work is designed to address, you tend to hear through the filter of your experience.

This is why it’s important to capture the conversation as exactly as possible, which is what we’ll talk about next.

Capture the conversation
Every word from your client’s lips is golden, so capture the conversation in as much detail as you can. Recording the conversation (with the other person’s permission) is ideal. Taking notes is another way to capture what is said.

Whether you take notes or use a recording, you’ll be going back to the conversation time and again to steep yourself in your client’s point of view and language. Capturing the exact words and phrases the client uses will be immensely helpful when it comes to describing what you do, making people aware of what you do, and making it safe and easy for them to hire you.

Allow problems to go unsolved
Problems are, well, problems. And we generally prefer not to hang out in the problem space, especially if we are trying to make a good impression on someone.

But a conversation with a client about what they want is not a problem-solving conversation. What may sound like a cry for help is often a cry to be heard. If you rush to solve the problem, you miss the point.

It will be easier to let go of the pressure to problem solve when you remember your Personal Safety Zone. Remind yourself that your client is a whole person. Detach from the impulse to fix things and tune into the work of connecting.

If you are truly focused on connecting from your Personal Safety Zone you will be able to hear your just-right client without being swamped by the problem or distracted by rushing to a solution.

That's how to find out what they really want.

Into action
If you've been reading this ezine for a while, you know that I give you specific guidance in how to create wealth from self-employment.

Yet, you may not be putting everything you read into action. Perhaps you lack the confidence to follow through on a daily basis. Maybe your motivation lags.

You may be struggling with inner and outer roadblocks.

Or maybe you are overwhelmed by the challenge of keeping the big picture (what you are up to in the world and what it takes to succeed) and the details (the daily actions that will make that happen) in focus at the same time.

Whatever the reason, you're not doing what it takes to become profitable while honoring your vision and your values.

That's why I developed Profit Alchemy. It's a nine-month program that gives you the clarity, skills, confidence, and momentum you need to make a profit. It begins January 12, and I'd love to talk to you about it.

You can learn more and apply here.
Photo by Kibondo via Flickr

Quick take
Risk is woven into the fabric of self-employment. It issues pointed, if not always polite, invitations to self-awareness.

Self-employment places you at the intersection of intention, instinct, choice, and desire. In the marketplace, your hopes and fears meet the hopes and fears of the world. At this intersection, you risk wealth and well being on many levels.

If you have the fortitude to look steadily at the truth about your choices, you will learn much about yourself and about building wealth. With time, attention, and some manner of faith to sustain you, you will discover your unique path to creating wealth in all dimensions.

The bigger picture
Risk is woven into the fabric of self-employment.

Every choice you face entails a measure of risk. How will you look? How will you feel? Will others approve? Will you gain or lose money? Will you have more or less quality time?

For the self-employed, risk is a constant teacher. If you are a willing student, you will learn much about business and about yourself. What's more, you will learn how your own well being is entwined with the well being of those around you.

The lessons you learn will not protect you from risk. Instead, they will give you a keener appreciation of it and an appetite for self-awareness and possibility.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing
As Helen Keller wrote, “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

The question I invite you to ask in the year ahead is: "What does this daring adventure want from me?"

I believe that risk is a pointed, not always polite, invitation to increased self-awareness and self-efficacy. The pressure cooker of risk urges you to be ever more deeply responsible for your spiritual, emotional, and material well being. In terms of self-employment, it requires you to be responsible for creating wealth in all dimensions.

Risk happens when you put your hopes on the line
Self-employment places you at the intersection of intention, instinct, choice, and desire. There your hopes and fears meet the hopes and fears of the world.

At this intersection, you risk your wealth and well being on multiple levels. You find out instantly if your insides and outsides are in alignment.

With time, attention, and some manner of faith to guide and sustain you, you will be better able to sense into Life’s unfolding mystery as encoded in everyday events. You will discern more clearly your unique role in the cosmic dance.

It’s in accepting this unique role that you experience true success, wealth, and well being in all dimensions. Then, for a moment, and in spite of all the effort that the effortless dance required, you know yourself to be in the right place at the right time.

And you know this, not because things are going your way, but because you will have found a still point within yourself that orients you in the turbulent tumble of ongoing events. In that moment you experience unalloyed success.

This, I think, is what Dame Julian of Norwich meant when she wrote, “All is well, and all manner of things be well.”

In the year ahead, I wish for you the imagination to embrace new possibilities for wealth and well being in all dimensions. I wish you the courage to take the attendant risks. And I wish for you the enduring awareness that you are always at the right place and the right time. That, indeed, all manner of things be well.

Together, let us show up, serve, and thrive.

Happy New Year!

Molly

Does this seem too fanciful to make good business sense? Bear with me, and consider how your relationship to your work might change if you regarded yourself as the steward or guardian, even the parent, of a creation that needs you care and guidance in order to thrive. What if marketing felt like telling the world with parental pride what your work can do for others? What if projecting cash flows resembled planning to pay for piano lessons or soccer or even keeping food on the table?

I believe we each have gifts to share with the world, and whether we work for means to share these gifts or whether our work is itself that means, we are called to be stewards, wise, proud, and fierce advocates for our work in the world.

At year’s end, I can think of no better way for a wise steward to put the year to bed than to adapt a practice that I learned from my stepson, who learned it from his wise mother, Barbara. You may notice similarities between this practice and spiritual exercises from various traditions, though I’ve yet to see an approach that matches this one for simplicity and grace.

Each night Barbara would ask the boys about their “sads, glads, and afraids.” For a few moments they would revisit the best and brightest, as well as the gloomy and doomy-est moments of their days in the safety of the beds and in the presence of a mother’s love.

What are the sads that you experienced in business and in work this year? Can you sit with these disappointments, observing them with parental compassion and clarity? It might feel right to make a list of your sads, reviewing it with a friend or colleague who can help you to be complete with the feelings and also to discern the lessons that are being offered.

When you’ve felt into the sads, recall all the glads: the successes, the graces, the times of surprising ease and joy. Don’t rush! Your glads are like seeds that have burst from the flower of your talents. Take some time to notice where these seeds most naturally take root and to appreciate what they need in order to blossom in the coming year. Again, it may be helpful to share your glads with another person who can enrich your appreciation and refine your understanding of how to cultivate these possibilities in the new year.

And now it is time to voice the afraids. Write down everything you have feared, big and small, rational and irrational. As guardian for your work, you will not want to censor any fear, rather you will want to make a space where every fear can come to light. In this space, false fears will shrink to their right size, often in what I like to call “a sudden encounter with the ridiculous.” Encountering the ridiculous in this way pricks holes in our self importance while taking care not to damage our hearts.

There are also likely to be fears that do not shrink, even fears that seem to grow when they are examined and articulated. Yet by taking time and making space for these more significant fears, we will breathe easier and we will be better able to make the hard choices that stewardship calls for without confusing the responsibility of choosing with the myth of controlling.

As with sads and glads, sharing your afraids with a trusted advisor or friend can help you experience them as both child and parent. In this way you will be caring for yourself and for the work you create in the world, tapping both the exuberance of childhood and the measured wisdom of maturity.

In the Profit Alchemy program, we explore deeply the sads, glads, and afraids of accidental entrepreneurship even as participants learn the skills they need to make a profit. It is a one-of-a-kind, integrated program of self-realization on the path to wealth in all dimensions. You can learn more here.

Be well, and Happy New Year!

Molly

Photo Credits: Photo by adwriter via flickr.

In the case of your tribe of just-right clients, you are the leader, responsible for giving them care and guidance. Not in a patronizing way, but to the extent that they depend on you to do good work and to lead them toward things that match their needs.

You and your just-right clients are connected through your work, the way you market that work, and the sales conversations you have. (Selling is a conversation. But you knew that, right?)

Finally, you and your tribe of just-right clients are connected to an idea. That idea could be the core values behind your work. It could be how your work matches what they want. It could be the difference your work makes in the world.

It's a spiritual and a practical relationship.

The trouble with tribes
The trouble with tribes is that many Accidental Entrepreneurs don't feel like they are in the same tribe as the clients they want. Here's a sample of issues you may relate to:

* The clients you want don't really get you or your work.
* The people who need your work can't afford it, or
* You can't relate to the people who can afford it.
* It's hard to get their attention.

They don't get you
When you love your work, you naturally want your just-right clients to love it, too. But it can seem like they just don't get you.

Do you get frustrated when potential clients seem to miss the beauty, subtlety, or utility of your offers? Do you get cranky if you're asked to explain yourself? Do you feel indignant or defensive when questioned about the value of your products or services? And does the idea of offering a guarantee set your teeth on edge?

The reality is it's not their job to get you; it's your job to get them.

Get your tribe before asking them to get you
Stephen Covey said it years ago: Understand before seeking to be understood.

It's okay to want your tribe to get you, but if you want them to hire you or buy your work, it's your job to help them understand what's in it for them. And to do that, you need to understand where they are coming from.

That's not as hard as it might sound. Ask the people you want to work with what they think. Ask them how they like to be treated. Find out how they like to get their information or receive products and services.

Yes, it takes homework, but for the sake of your tribe (and your livelihood), isn't it worth it?

The people who need your work can't afford it
This one can really hurt your heart. You so want to serve through your work. Yet you need to make a living. And it seems like the people who want or need what you do can't afford you.

Here's the thing. Some people can't afford what you do. Some people can. What's needed is a way to serve both while supporting you. After all, you are responsible for the well being of yourself and your loved ones.

The answer is to serve from generosity
The answer to this problem is to serve your tribe from generosity.

What does that mean?

It means having a business that supports you well enough that you can give generously of what you have.

One of the best ways to do this is to give away useful information. If you are a bodyworker, you can give information about self-care. If you are a self-employment coach, like me, you can give away insights and tools for succeeding at self-employment.

When you give from deep and renewable resources, you help people who can't afford you, without depleting yourself. That means you can thrive and continue to give.

You can't relate to people who can afford your work
This one's a doozie, too. If you sell a premium product or service, one that costs more than you typically spend, you may feel like you and your just-right clients are on a different page when it comes to money. This can alienate you from your tribe.

But does money really need to separate you?

The point of a price is to establish a shared value. The price you sell is the value your work represents to you. The price your just-right clients pay is the value it represents to them. So long as that value matches, your respective incomes aren't an issue.

When you connect with your tribe around the value of your work, instead of obsessing about whether or not they have a different lifestyle, money stops being a barrier.

But how do you get their attention?
Perhaps you are convinced of the importance of understanding your tribe before asking them to understand you and your work. You're willing to concede that the financial gap you've been seeing doesn't need to be an issue.

The question remains: How do you get the attention of your tribe?

Too many Accidental Entrepreneurs expect their tribes to form around them just because. Because they do good work. Because they have a lot of training or experience. Because they have the best interests of their tribes at heart.

But you'll never get the attention of your tribe by sitting around waiting for it. You have to earn their attention by giving them something valuable.

You earn your tribe's attention by serving them
The best way to get the attention of your tribe is to do something for them. Give away your best ideas in your blog or ezine. Write tip sheets or how to columns for your local newspaper. Visit the places your tribe hangs out online and off and answer their questions.

Again, it takes homework to find opportunities to serve your tribe. But your peers are doing it everyday. Notice what successful people in your profession are doing and follow their lead. Stamp your offerings with your own personality, and before long you will stand out.

Your tribe is waiting for you
The best way to get a continuous stream of income from your work is to form a tribe around your business. That means looking for the values and concerns that you hold in common with your just-right clients. It means not letting surface differences like income level get in the way. And it means serving them so they can come to know, like, and trust you.

Now you know what to do. Do it. Your tribe is waiting for you

Photo Credits: Yellow steps by Molly Holtzschalg via flickr.

When you work for yourself because you love what you do, your muse--your source of inspiration--matters. It connects you
with a value, principle, or ideal that is bigger than you are. That lights you up and infuses your work with meaning.

But your ability to make a living means more than doing what you love. It takes more than serving your muse.

The magic formula isn't, in my experience, "Do what you love, and the money will follow." It's "Do what you love to serve others, and the money will follow."

Where your muse fits
You need your muse for your work to matter. You need clients if you're going to make a living. Fortunately, your muse is part of what makes you and your clients fit just-right.

How does it all fit together?

Here's the short version.

* You serve your muse by developing your talent and skills and by listening to inspiration.

* You serve your just-right clients by listening to them and making them offers that fit what they want.

* Your muse serves you *and* your clients by infusing your work with beauty and meaning.

You serve your muse
A muse is a source of inspiration. You serve your muse by making yourself the best possible vehicle for giving form and substance to the inspiration.

You serve your muse when you take care of yourself. You serve your muse when you study your craft. And you serve your muse when you tune into the divine spark where it all begins.

If you don't serve your muse in these ways, inspiration dries up. You feel lost and disconnected. Disoriented. Discouraged.

When you do serve your muse, you light up. You see ideas and possibilities everywhere.

It's clear that for your business to work, you need to serve your muse.

You serve your just-right clients
Important as your muse is, it's not the center of the universe for your just-right clients. For your work to translate to consistent income, your work needs to match what they want. You figure out how to do that by listening.

When you don't listen to your clients, you end up lecturing. Telling them why they need your products or services. Giving them reason after reason why they should buy.

Boring. Off-putting.

When you listen closely to your clients and design your offers to match what they want, you don't need to lecture. You can use your just-right clients' exact language to describe what you do so that they immediately recognize their desires in your offers. They sell themselves because the fit is so good.

If you're going to make a living, you have to serve your just-right clients.

Your muse serves you *and* your clients
When you and your clients fit just-right, your muse serves you both. What inspires you inspires them. What moves you moves them. What delights you delights them.

Your job is to find the intersection where what inspires, moves, and delights you perfectly matches what your clients want. Where that correspondence is clear.

How to get the money to follow
You get the money to follow the work you love by making your work relevant to your just-right clients. That means translating your muse into the forms and substance that best match what clients want.

You translate by observing and listening to your just-right clients. By finding out where your work is relevant to them. Where it fits in their lives. And how they talk about the issues, opportunities, and concerns that your work addresses.

Notice how your just-right clients want to encounter your work. Are they looking online or off? When it comes to using your work, what is most convenient for them? Speak to them in the channels they already use.

Give your just-right clients ways to know, like, and trust you. Give away useful information. Make yourself available if they have questions. And realize that it takes time to arrive at a place where you fit just-right.

Take care of your muse and your clients
If you don't need to make a living, what you do with your work is up to you and your muse. But when you need to make money, your just-right clients are part of the equation.

Take care of yourself. Take care of your muse. And take care of your just-right clients. That's the way to make a living at the work you love.

And for help getting the money to follow the work you love, see the top of the sidebar for a free offer.

Photo Credits: Yellow steps by Ken Douglas via flickr

In his presentation, Fabeku invites you to pretend your business is a superhero. Not like Wonder Woman or Superman, but a superhero uniquely like you. Then, he says, ask what superpower your business has and unpack the wonderful adventure story that goes with it.

It's a very cool way of getting at the essence of your business.

Your superpower lives inside a story
Your superpower is part of the story you tell yourself about who you are and what you do. Remembering your superpower brings your story to life. It shows you how you can be at your best.

When you forget your superpower, your story goes flat. You lose enthusiasm and confidence. You may start comparing yourself with other people who have different superpowers.

You may find yourself trying to be all things to all people.

At the same time, a superpower can take over your story, operating whether or not it is appropriate. (Remember giggling about Superman being able to see through your clothes?)

When a superpower takes over your story, you become so identified with it that it defines you. You and others expect yourself to be super-powerful all the time, in every situation.

It's exhausting.

Superpowers can get out of control
As the women in Wealth Momentum explored their superpowers, they realized that sometimes a superpower bites you. For example, the superpower of helping others can devolve into a pattern of rescue and depletion.

Or the superpower of commitment can lock you into situations that no longer serve you or blind you to new opportunities.

Does this mean that your superpower has turned into a super liability? Do you need to turn it off?

No.

There's a bigger story
The story of your business-as-superhero exists inside a larger story, a story of wholeness.

In the story of wholeness, you are, by definition, sufficient and complete. Your value does not depend on your superpower. Any excesses or deficiencies in your power are merely temporary perturbations of the surface of a deep sea.

Wholeness is your default mode
It's easy (and perfectly okay) to get caught up in surface stories. After all, that's where the day-to-day action of life takes place.

And on the surface, it can seem like your default mode is defined by your strengths or weaknesses.

But what if wholeness is your actual default?

What if your strengths and weaknesses are the exception and wholeness the rule?

Make wholeness your back story
An actor creates a back story to fill in a character's history before the action of a play begins. It's the story before the story.

There's always a back story.

I suggest that the back story you are born with is the story of wholeness. That every other story--including the story of your superpowers--is just a partial and temporary expression of your wholeness.

Where you might go with this
The back story of wholeness has the potential to change the future of your business.

Imagine that whatever is going on right now is just one chapter in the context of a greater story. Then play with these questions.

* How have the events of the past year been an expression of your wholeness?
* What needs to be true in order for you to really inhabit the back story of wholeness?
* What possibilities open up when you inhabit that back story?
* What are the natural next steps on the path to those possibilities?

Until next week, be well.

Molly

Photo by Tim Malabuyo via Flickr

If you confuse your goal (to build a house) with your purpose (to create a home), you will to stall before you get very far. (You'll also drive your architect crazy.)

The simplest choices will fraught with such significance that it is almost impossible to make them. Compromise will be out of the question. Making decisions based on factors such as square footage or cost will seem a travesty.

Because how can you possibly reduce the creation of a home to such considerations?

You can't.

A house is not a home
You can, however, reduce the goal of building of a house to practical elements. However painful it may be to reconcile your dreams with your budget, it is eminently possible.

And the lovely thing? When you keep your purpose in mind as you formulate and pursue your goal, you can serve that goal even as you make the necessary compromises. Because even the most modest house becomes a home when you animate it with purpose.

Purpose animates goals
Animate comes from the Latin, anima, or soul. Purpose is the soul of goal-setting. It infuses goals--and the process of achieving them--with meaning.

The purpose of creating a home makes achieving the phenomenally challenging goal of building a house worthwhile.

The purpose of furthering your work in the world is what makes business goals worth pursuing.

Goals serve purpose
Goals give purpose shape and focus.

Purpose without goals is flabby. Without the goal of building a house, the dream of creating a home may remain a dream indefinitely.

Goals are the means by which your purpose is given form so it can function in the world.

Success requires purpose and goals
Many Accidental Entrepreneurs get derailed on the track to success because they confuse purpose and goals, or because one of the other is missing.

When you love your work, purpose is likely to be at the forefront of your thoughts. It's almost certainly your primary motivation.

So you may resist goal setting or find it boring and tedious.

And when you do concentrate on the mundane aspects of running a business--bookkeeping, marketing, creating systems and structures--you may forget that you're doing all this to serve a greater purpose.

At times you may feel like you have to sacrifice either purpose or goals.

It's your job to make the connection
As a conscious business owner (and you are a business owner if you work for yourself), your most important job may be to keep alive the conscious connection of purpose and goals.

To remember that purpose is the soul of goals and goals the means by which you express your purpose in the world.

Take a moment now and think of a word, image, or object to serve as a talisman that, for you, represents the connection between your purpose and your goals. Then find a way to keep that talisman in your awareness.

Because it's your job--and your privilege--to both build the house and make it a home.
Photo by J Brew via Flickr

Enjoy!

The Good Why & the Bad Why
When you walk through life with eyes closed (who doesn't do this to some degree?) it's natural to find yourself in the mud-muck-mire.

And then to ask "Why?"

But there's a good-why and there's a bad-why. One opens your eyes wider leading you towards wisdom, insight, and a more creative future. The other closes your eyes and leads you . . . after a short time . . . back into the mud-muck-mire.

So what's the difference between the good-why and the bad-why?

The bad-why casts you in the victim role and positions you as a bug underneath the foot of Life.

The good-why puts you in the learner role and positions you as a disciple sitting at the feet of Life.

Here's a short video that explores this distinction: CLICK HERE.

For more of Eric's work sign up for his amazing freebie, "50 Ways to Leave Your Karma," a book of Dharma Doodles and insights guaranteed to wake up your sense of humor and your insight.

Video: It's always something!
Ever say to yourself, "It's always something!" Life happens, and it's easy to feel like you're getting the short end of the stick. But really, it's not about you. (Click here for a 2 minute video)

Gently reaping the spiritual fruit of business breakdowns
Argh. Ack! Ick. however you spell it, sometimes working for yourself feels crummy. You get up on the wrong side of bed. Your computer freezes. A client decides it's time to stop working with you.

Sometimes all three on the same day.

And well you may wonder, "What's the message? What am I not getting here?"

Good questions.

Pay attention to the question under the question
Jeanne's computer keeps breaking down. After declaring (with some reason) that it's always something, she asks, "What's the message here?"

The quality of the answer she gets depends on the question under the question.

Compare:

"What's the message? (What's wrong with me?)"

with

"What's the message? (Why can't I have what I want?)"

with

"What's the message? (What's happening here? What can I notice?)"

What's wrong with me? is an answer not a question
Julio Olalla, founder of The Newfield Network, once remarked in a workshop, "'What's wrong with me?' is an answer, not a question."

I like that. "What's wrong with me?" is really a declaration that there *is* something wrong. Because it isn't an open question, the shape of the answer is predetermined.

And it's not likely to be good news.

What's wrong with this/them? doesn't work either
The "What's wrong?" question doesn't work much better projected outward. It's of limited value whenever you decide in advance where the answer is going to come from.

It's me.

It's this.

It's them.

None of those options leaves much room for discovering something new. For learning.

Now that you're asking
Asking the right questions (and cleaning up the subtext) is critical. But once you have those questions, it's important to ask carefully.

Mindfully.

With compassionate persistence.

Because the mind goes skittering off so quickly, especially when it's faced with a deep inquiry. It's easy to settle for the quick fix, the first answer to rise to the top.

And that's fine when you're looking for someone to hook up your new printer or balance your accounts.

It doesn't work so well when you're trying to discern the deeper questions:

"What do I do, really?"

"Whom do I help?"

Even, "How should I market this program?"

To get quality answers to those questions, you may need some structure to keep yourself in the conversation.

Explore your questions and answers in writing, longhand.

Go for a walk with one question in mind.

Ask yourself a question before going to sleep.

It's subtle work
Reaping the fruit of business breakdowns is subtle work. That can be hard to remember when your nervous system is ramped up from frustration or anxiety.

So be gentle. But don't stop. Because when you ask the right questions, things get interesting.

Photo by Steve Webel via Flickr
Photo by Eric Klein Darmadoodle

It used to surprise me when I heard about a yoga injury. I thought of yoga as inherently gentle.

Then I started practicing myself. I soon discovered that there are two ways to do yoga: with awareness or with force.

And force leads inevitably to injury.

Self-employment is like yoga
Like yoga, self-employment requires you to stretch. You have to stretch to learn effective business practices. You have to stretch to promote yourself and your work.

You have to stretch to bridge the gap between conventional business practices and authentic self-employment success.

You need to fake it until you make it.

Constructive faking is yoga for your business
Faking it may seem to be the very antithesis of authentic self-employment success. But there's a big difference between healthy, constructive faking and false, destructive fakery.

Constructive faking serves specific goals that align with your values. It is informed by a vision that inspires and motivates you to try on a new way of being.

It recognizes that there is a gap between how things are now and how you imagine they might be. And it helps you to bridge that gap.

Constructive faking is inherently developmental rather than absolutist; it serves growth rather than control.

It's yoga.

Destructive faking is magical thinking
Destructive faking lacks an overarching vision or serves outcomes that are not aligned with your values.

Destructive faking ignores the gap between where you are and where you want to be. It projects impossible results, leading you to quit in discouragement when those results fail to materialize. It is magical thinking.

Business yoga is gradual, conscious stretching
Faking it for the sake of authentic self-employment success means stretching consciously, with care and attention.

It starts out easy. (Tune into your reasons for doing what you do.) From the easy stretch, move into a developmental stretch, reaching for a position in which you experience a mild increase in tension. (Tune into the reasons others value what you do.)

Gradually move deeper into the pose as your skill, balance, and flexibility allow. (Start talking about what you do with people you meet.)

In contrast, destructive stretching is drastic. It stimulates muscle fibers to contract--the opposite of what you want. The result is strain, even injury. (You force yourself to make cold calls. Shudder.)

Faking it until you make it means stretching the way you think about marketing and promotion in a healthy way. It means stretching your vision of what self-employment success might look like.

Take it easy, but keep practicing
Practice business yoga gently.

Ease into those stretches. Pay attention to the size of the gap you want to bridge. Remind yourself of why you are practicing (and remember that it is a practice).

Gradually step back from the way you have always approached marketing and self promotion. Gently detach from your biases and fears about business (without closing your eyes to real concerns).

And gradually reconcile your vision of authentic self-employment success with conventional business practices.

When you fake it this way, successful self-employment becomes a vehicle for personal and professional transformation. Each day is a new opportunity to bring the business of business into alignment with your highest and best self.

To engage is to become involved in a deep and committed way. The earliest root of the word meant to pledge, and that meaning has endured over the centuries.

When you engage, you pledge your attentions and energy to something larger, more important, than the thrills and chills, attractions and distractions, of day-to-day life.

Engagement is therefore an appropriate prologue to the marriage vow, "for better or worse."

When you are engaged, you don't leave a person or situation just because the going gets rough. You promise to override the fight, flight, or freeze instinct and to work through the most difficult circumstances.

Your business is asking for the same thing when you are overwhelmed. And before you run screaming into the night, let me just say that, as in a happy marriage, the rewards are far greater than the sacrifices.

Overwhelm is a declaration that a problem is too big
When you're overwhelmed, your mind tells you that you're in really big trouble. That, because you have to do more than you possibly can do, something bad is going to happen. And it says you need to get out from under the pressure fast.

The flight, fight, or freeze response kicks in, which is great if you're confronted with a grizzly bear, but exactly the wrong thing when you need your mental and emotional faculties to make order from chaos.

Flight, fight, or freeze recruit parts of your brain and body designed to face an emergency. These instincts are designed to help you escape, to get you out of trouble fast, and then dissipate when you're safely away.

But in business, as in marriage, overwhelm doesn't go away when you run from it. It doesn't go away when you fight it. It sure as heck doesn't go away when you freeze.

And the trouble you duck today comes back tomorrow to bite you, only harder.

What you need is deeper engagement
When you're overwhelmed, escape is the last thing you need. What you need (whether you know it or not in that overwhelmed moment) is deeper engagement.

You need a way to come back to a state of deep connection and loving focus.

To renew and even deepen your commitment while restoring order and meaning to your situation.

The question is, how?

It begins with your core values
Whether or not you feel you have time for this, the first thing you need when you are overwhelmed is to remember your core values. You don't need to go all dewy eyed, you don't need to feel warm and fuzzy, but you must remember that you have values that are bigger than the current situation.

It's nearly impossible to craft or articulate your values when you're in a state of overwhelm, so take time when you're not crazed to write down the handful of guiding principles by which you intend to manage your business.

Your core values are the North Pole by which you navigate even--or especially--when overwhelmed.

Your core purpose is the compass
If your core values are the North Pole, your core purpose is the compass that will tell you whether or not you are on course, no matter how overwhelmed you may be.

According to Jim Collins, author of "Good to Great," "Core purpose is an organizationʼs most fundamental reason for being. It should not be confused with the companyʼs current product lines or customer segments. Rather, it reflects peopleʼs idealistic motivations for doing the companyʼs work."

Again, this is something to spell out when you aren't overwhelmed. As the saying goes, "When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember you're there to drain the swamp."

Your core values and purpose are the reasons you got engaged in the first place.

Now you can use the Power Virtues
You've oriented to your North Pole and take out your compass. Now to walk through overwhelm with a modicum of grace.

Here's where you need your spiritual tool set, what I call the Power Virtues. They are Gratitude, Humility, Surrender, and Simplicity.

You have high quality problems
A wise friend of mine once said, "Every five years you get a new set of problems." And I say, if you've been doing you homework in the School of Life, they'll be higher quality problems."

We should be so lucky as to have the problems we have.

We are lucky to be overwhelmed by the challenges and opportunities of doing work we love, when all over the world people are working in subhuman conditions, when they are working at all.

When you're overwhelmed, offer up a prayer of Gratitude. This works to reduce overwhelm even when you don't mean it. Just do it. Rinse and repeat.

There's almost always more help available than you are using
Overwhelm is a call to reach out for help. To not isolate or retreat into embarrassment or self-protection.

And to ask for help means practicing the virtue or skill of Humility.

Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. Ask for ideas. Ask for referrals to other people who might be able to offer support and ideas.

If you have the budget for it, hire help. Even a little help can make a big difference when you are overwhelmed. Do you have $25 to pay a student to help you solve an email problem? Or $50 to get an hour's training on your computer?

Help is probably more available and affordable than you think. All it takes is Humility.

Surrender your notion of how things ought to be
The surest way to amplify and prolong overwhelm is to hang onto your idea of how things ought to be in spite of all indications to the contrary.

The alternative is to practice the skill or virtue of Surrender.

Surrender to the reality that you can only do part of what you want to get done. (30% is a good place to start. Surrender more or less as circumstances require.)

Surrender your self-image. Overwhelm is often a sign that you've become over-identified with your work and you goals. Remember, goals are not the same as your core purpose. You can stick to your core purpose and surrender unrealistic or impossible goals.

Along similar lines, Surrendering your self image does not mean giving up self esteem. Self esteem comes from doing estimable things. You can do estimable things in the service of different goals.

Embrace Simplicity
The final Power Virtue in your spiritual skill set is Simplicity. Overwhelm is the Universe's most sincere mandate to simplify.

Simplicity means choosing and engaging with one thing at a time.

Remember engagement? Simplicity is a hologram of engagement in that engagement with the details is nested inside engagement with the whole. Engagement with single actions is nested inside engagement with your core values and core purpose.

If you can see your goals in the midst of overwhelm, choose one simple action at a time in service of one goal. If you can't see your goals for the chaos, choose one simple action at a time from the chaos around you.

One action at a time. One focus in each moment. Thus does Simplicity calm your nervous system and begin restoring engagement.

Power Virtues are the result of practice
I like to think of the Power Virtues as skills as much as they are virtues. This is because they increase as the result of practice, and life is full of opportunities to practice.

Practice when you aren't overwhelmed by being pausing in deliberate Gratitude for everything, good, bad, and indifferent, in your world.

Practice Humility by being right-sized and asking for help as early and often as you can. Be creative in looking for ways to receive help and people and other resources that can offer it.

Practice the Power Virtue of Surrender by offering up everything you do each day in service of your core values and purpose. Then make plans, take action, and let go of the results.

Finally, practice Simplicity by disciplining yourself to do one thing at a time. Treat each task as a precious gem to be considered and polished independently of the others.

Forgiveness is the Master Virtue
There's a final virtue or sill that saves marriages and businesses: Forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for lapses in practice.

Forgive yourself for getting overwhelmed in the first place.

Forgive the Universe for playing tricks on you and forgive other people, institutions, and circumstances for collaborating in those tricks.

Practice these virtues and you'll reap the spiritual gifts of overwhelm, the gifts of full engagement in your life and work.