As a member of the generation that once declared you should never trust anyone over 30, you may now find yourself reflecting on what it means to grow up, to become a full fledged adult, a response-able and responsive partner in the dance of creation.

Perhaps you've accomplished a good deal of what you set out to do. You may have a family, a career or business, a circle fo friends, and hobbies. By all accounts, you are a success, and yet something is nipping at your heels. (Or it may feel more like being bitten in the ass by the Hound of Heaven. But I digress.)

You want something else, and you know it's not to be found in another workshop in the long dance of serial self-improvement. You're experienced enough to know that life is not a one dimensional project, a race that to be won or lost, a test that to be passed or failed.

Still, something in you is reaching like a sunflower reaches for the sun. But what? How do you honor your yearning when you don't even know what you are yearning for? Isn't it crazy to set off on a quest in the middle of a life that is, for all intents and purposes, going quite well, thank you very much?

Wouldn't it be great to have a time and place to explore what life means to you and wants from you in a community of your peers? And wouldn't it be nice to know that you have a guide along to provide bearings, companionship, and encouragement? Finally, wouldn't it be amazing to have a space in which you could let go completely without blowing up your life?

That's what Coaching for Grownups is all about. It's meeting with other men and women who have succeeded enough that they are no longer adequately motivated by personal ambition or fear. (I'm not saying that fear and ambition are gone; they just aren't all that inspiring any more.) They often have difficulty finding a coach who can keep up with them, let alone keep them honest.

On the face of it, the issues that face these people (you, me) are not new. What will we do when we grow up? How much is enough? What way of living will provide the blend of challenge and support that keeps us engaged, growing, thriving? How do we balance our personal and professional obligations? What is a meaningful life, anyway? What do I do when I'm tired of my perfect life?

The issues may not be new, but the territory in which we encounter them is. We've learned a lot about emotional intelligence, self management, communications, relationships, physical vitality, and more.

When we first learned all this, it was headline news. Then there came the years when we'd forget the lessons, suffer, re-learn or remember, and move on. For a while, we felt certain that life could be "solved" by sparkling solutions, provocative ways out of limiting beliefs and situations. These days, while we continue to recognize the value of what we have learned in the past, we are no longer enchanted with the notion that life is something that we will ever solve. Instead, we have come to suspect that each significant attainment, each breakthrough. will, in time, generate a new set of problems. (And we suspect that this is good news, on the whole.)

For example:
* Attaining reliable access to a sense of inner peace... we discover that we may not know how to discriminate between surrender and going to sleep, between blissing out and checking out, let alone what to do about the answers.

* Having stopped making (well, almost) commitments in order to please or impress others... we experience an odd sense of disconnection. Have we detached, disconnected, or abandoned our previous values?

* What will now motivate us to make and keep commitments? How can we maintain meaningful relationships with others who may not recognize or share our detachment?

* In some respects, we experience more certainty and confidence than ever. At the same time, we have a much keener nose for narcissism and grandiosity. How will we learn to embody our knowledge and values with both humility and passion?

* No longer looking for quick fixes... we sometimes wonder if we're not making life more complicated than it needs to be. What's the difference between growing complexity -- with its attendant richness, more numerous connections, and expanded web of choices -- and mere complication -- losing sight of the fruit in the decision trees?

* Much as we may value the myths and traditions of our families, political and spiritual communities, and other affiliations, we can't help but be aware that every sure thing, every truth and good intention, has sooner or later been twisted into a means of inflicting pain or destruction. At the same time, something in us cries out for a tribe in which we will feel truly at home.

There's more. But if you are one of these people, you already know that.

In concrete terms, these issues may look like losing interest in work, yearning to begin a long deferred creative project, gnawing fear that a marriage or friendship cannot withstand the light of your growing awareness. There may be issues around health or community involvement. In short, in the words of Zorba, the "full catastrophe."

So, where does a successful and emotionally and spiritually mature adult go to get oriented and suss out next steps without endless processing or over-simplification?

Coaching
Coaching provides a focused yet spacious, challenging and supportive context for conscious participation in one’s own development. Over the years, I have been fortunate to have many “advanced grown-ups” as clients, and my coaching has evolved to be particularly suited to this work.

Who Do I Think I Am?
Because my clients are typically my peers and, in some respects, my superiors, it's important to describe what I will bring to our work. I am bold, intuitive, and irreverent (can you imagine?), relying on the client to run with what works and discard without sentiment what does not. I can guarantee hilarity at some points in the process.

Much as you impress me, I will not hesitate to gore your sacred cows. (Try not to get blood on the office floor, okay?) This is coaching with the gloves off. I am hungry for full engagement with my clients and with the aspirations, values, and demons that make up the curriculum of their lives. I expect to stand with them as they work on things that are sometimes outside my comprehension.

My claim to competency is that I can sense opportunities and minefields and construct damn good maps even when I can only intuit the territory.

Finally, I'm a living laboratory for integrating compassion and wisdom, and by that I mean that I want to learn how to live with an ever more open heart while avoiding the pitfalls of sentimentality and political correctness, Each client and group calls me to this edge, teaching me to speak the truth in love.

If this appeals to you, drop me an email to schedule a mutual interview.